Seasons are changing..
Hard to believe it's already summer...
I'm sitting here listening to Neil Young's live concert entitled "Heart of Gold" which was taped in 2006 at the landmark Ryman Auditorium, in Nashville, Tennessee. It is an amazing set which debuts his (new at the time) album, "Prairie Wind," among other classics. I only bring this up because it is a very melancholy set which easily fills the air with a heartwarming story from easily one of the most enduring artists of this era. So far, to date, it is one of his last recorded shows and it was recorded shortly after he had a brain aneurism surgically corrected, and the death of his father. The music and stories have a sense of reflection, but also a look to the future for new experiences and adventures. In listening to this record, one can easily get lost in the experience and envision themselves in the shoes of a great artist and songwriter.
Only now that I am a bit older am I beginning to realize that as human beings, we are constantly at the proverbial crossroad of life. We are constantly altering our physical environment; adding to or subtracting from our nuclear group of friends; creating or settling feuds between family members; changing, starting or ending careers; or the most intimidating of all life's choices, having children. I am slowly beginning to realize that eventually everything changes, neither for the good nor the bad, it's just constantly changing. Granted, that sounds extraordinarily cliche, but sometimes there is truth in old words.
It wasn't until I started to cruise through old pictures and albums did I really realize the people and experiences I've had throughout my life. And the funny thing is, I will probably only see many of them with my own eyes a handful of times for the remainder of my life. People that once had such an impact on my life, are just sorta, not there anymore. Again that's fine, because there are no guarantees that I would even get along with who they have become, nor would I necessarily act how they once knew me.
Currently I have over 6000 pictures in my photo album, which seems a bit intimidating to even think about... Some probably have more, others probably have less, but its probably safe to assume that my index finger has gotten quite tired of the repetitive torture. By reminiscing over pictures and a time long past, only then do I realize that pictures only grasp mere moments during the events of our lifetime. They are literally a snapshot in time (yes, pun intended.)
Although... Somehow.. I think that's the point. I think pictures are only meant to remind us of memories past or forgotten. But I suppose I feel that the utility of memorabilia and pictures are meant to supplement memories, not replace them... For a number of years in college, I had gotten into the habit of just clicking away at everything on the other side of my camera lens. Now.. don't get me wrong.. There are some hilarious moments captured on film... But the purpose of our experiences are to live in and enjoy that moment, not constantly reflect upon them in the future. I think that in many circumstances we get too caught up in capturing every moment on film, or every event on tape, and actually miss out on the experience of life.
Why is it that there is rarely a perfect balance between the inadequate and the excessive? I can only assume during the college years I was certainly acting in excess. But once college had ended, I had rebounded in the other direction and completely stopped taking pictures at all. In fact, by the time I graduated college I was so sick of the damn "camera pose" I couldn't hardly stand it. But now.. years later, should I be sad to think that I should have taken more pictures to captivate more moments? Or should I take solace in the fact that by not taking pictures, I wholeheartedly lived in that moment for very memorable road trips and events of my young adult life?
For anyone that has exposure to historical archives, or have grand parents with old shoe boxes, you can really begin to appreciate how little archival footage there are of human beings in comparison to recent years. After the camera was invented, many people of the era had one picture; either of them, their kids, or the whole family... just ONE picture. But not these days, there are scrapbooks, and electronic albums, SIM cards, multiple online photo websites, and a variety of social networking websites to store and share your pictures and experiences with any passerby. Hell, we've even invented electronic picture frames which can hold up to and cycle through HUNDREDS of photographs in a number of hours. What ever happened to one picture in one frame? Is the old "analogue" photographic technology obsolete?
At no time in history have we ever had as much technology as we have today, nor have we had the sheer volume of memorabilia. The next question is, who are we REALLY going to share these memories with, or who are we saving them for? Are we all going to have biographical novels? Is there going to be someone, someday that thinks we are worthy of a memoir? If many of these memories are collecting dust in an old hard drive, or even an old shoebox, are they really doing anyone any good? Have we as a culture gotten more satisfaction out of knowing that we have captured the moment in physical form, rather than actually gaining the satisfaction of living that moment?
Think about the panic people endure when their hard drive crashes and they lose hundreds of children's photos. Think about the terror when the photo negatives are lost... Where does this come from? Do we really think that by losing this physical piece of history, we are in a sense losing the memory? Or is this the case-in-point that we truly cherish the physical memorabilia over the satisfaction from experiencing or living through a particular event?
I think what will be most fascinating is what happens in 200 years. Not in the morbid sense, but more in reference to the development of our future culture and nuclear family with the knowledge and collection of our familial history. What if we had pictures of our families traveling across on the boat? Would we think of them the same way? Will our lineage look back and be able to tell their children and their grand children of people long past, and then pull out a 6000 photo gallery of that person to tell the story? I mean to say, we certainly do not have that luxury with our ancestors, and our nuclear family has revered these people as once great beings. After all, in many circumstances, all we have is a check-in sheet from Ellis Island.. or maybe not even that.. Maybe many of us don't know where we came from, aside from knowing our family members were farmers or tailors or butchers. What if in the future, our culture realizes we have lived in excess and stops archiving pictures and whole lives? Is there really anything lost?
So I wonder what people will think of us, and our culture, in hundreds of years when there is a plethora of archival footage and photographs to show how we lived. Most of us only hear about our ancestors through word of mouth from other family members, and then that ONE picture is referenced, or perhaps a piece of war-torn memorabilia. For many of us, our ancestors are held on a high pedestal of how hard their lives were, and what they had to live through and endure. What if they had a few hundred photos a year to show that Great Grandpa just hung out on the couch all day in his underwear? What happens if our lineage looks at our collections of memorabilia they say, "God, this guy really looked like a dick." Or worse yet, what if he really was?!
Ultimately I feel that photographs and videos are meant for ourselves, the ones we love and those we care about. They're a way for us to tell a story about our lives to those that we care about, who can't be present when we live them. Or maybe just a way of reliving the moments when we are together with those we shared the experience. With many of us having pictures from childhood, it is also a way to see how we grew up throughout the years and share that with people that weren't there.
With that said, it is also very important that we all pay attention to ensure that we are not capturing these physical memories in excess... If you're constantly looking through the camera's shutter, you're not really taking part in the experience, but you're just some creepy guy or gal with a photo fetish. On the other hand, having no recollection of the experience does not pay tribute to an accomplishment or experience, regardless of it being either large or small.
So at this point, you must be wondering why I have entitled this blog entry with "Seasons are changing..." Basically what I'm driving at is throughout our entire lives, things will always change. Sometimes they change in ways that we intend, and other times they change without our control. Regardless, we can't forget to live in the moment and enjoy what we have and who we are sharing it with. If they're is no one right now in your lives, no problem, you're the most reliable person for yourself anyway.
What I learned this year was plant a garden. You'll always be satisfied with what you've made, and gain great satisfaction when everything starts to bloom and come alive. It is one of those small victories we all need in our lives to remember that we can do something right. Even if you're in an apartment with limited space, get a potted plant that blooms. Or if you're in an office, get something to brighten up your space.
In the future I'll continue to send pictures along of my life and what my family is doing. Just know that I am intending to include you in reliving those experiences, and hope that you get a laugh at our expense!
Thank you for taking the time to read this entry, it had been quite some time since my last posting.
-Carlo
June 7th, 2010 - 08:33
Carlo, that was a very thoughtful insite. I think of all the photos that went to other family members that became more of a posession than something meeaningful. The problem with pictures is that most have no one to recognize who’s inthemafter years go by. I have a casett recording of my Grandma Nettnin that tells more about her than a thousand pictures. Maybe someday there will be a way to have a voice over for some pictures that give a verbal bio for future generations (kind of llike a talking family tree). Another loss in time are grave sites. Obviously my father won’t have one, we can’t find my grandma Nettnins in the graveyard, great and great-great relatives ore locked in a fenced in graveyard by Eastern and Franklin Street in GR. I still Know where my moms family lies in repose but do you? or is it important? Not knowing how much time I have left, I often wonder if I should create a recording of how I view my life and usually decide that it would be self indulging and then don’t do it. My time on earth and what I’ve done with it will be rembered many different ways and I’m good with that. Faith, family, freinds, if I’ve treated them well, I’m good to go! Love, Dad/Dick/Goborob/Rich/Richie/Richard/Ricardo/Anemale/RJR/Mr. “R”/ and a few more I won’t mention (lol)….I’ve been known by all these to different people…and I will be remembered differently by all!
June 7th, 2010 - 14:19
Hi Dad! Thanks for your response!
I would have to agree, there is certainly a sense of possession when it comes to relics of old family members or old family history. I actually heard that cassette when I was very young… I only kinda remember hearing your voice on the tape when you were a very young child too. Aside from that, no real idea what else was on it. But think about that technology for the time period. At no point in time before then, was there the ability to record the voice and share it with generations to come. In a sense, that was the type of comparison I was trying to make to today. In this circumstance, there is ONE recording of your grand mothers voice. But today? Hell, I alone have probably 30 videos online, not to mention about 10 hour of unedited footage from the weddings and bachelor parties a few years ago. Surely times are changing, and I wonder what will be said in years to come..
That is another very insightful thought. In fact, no I really do not know where the graves of most of our family lie, and for that matter, none of any real ancestor. Also, I dont think any of us have a real understanding of our own family tree. Of which, each is lost with the next generation. But I always find family trees humorous because it seems they always start off with two people, at the top of the tree. But what about the tree that lead to that couple? and the one before that? Surely that knowledge is lost, but it is thanks to our abilities to document things now, and the technology available that we can maintain such memories with relative ease.
I would also have to agree, it is a rather tortuous mind battle on whether or not to create a autobiography. While it may be self indulgent. It is also one way to create that story, to go along with the pictures. Not in a literal sense, that youd be writing a novel for each picture. But just that if people see pictures, and then have something to read about you which may be related or unrelated, it may give a bit more of an insight in years to come. But on the other side of that coin, I know of a girl that has been writing in a journal/diary every single day for the past 15 years. So again, this would appear to be the balance between excessive and inadequacy.
But, I do feel that this balance is different for every person. It is their life events that shaped them into establishing where they fall within the spectra of too much or too little.
Stating that “youll be remembered differently by all” is the nature of our species. We are adaptive creatures, and will always be changing or have changed to fulfill different needs. Some times we act differently within the same time period, depending on jobs, family, etc. But other times we just gradually change as the years go on, and our needs as humans change – both physical and emotional needs. But I fully agree with your statement!
Thanks for replying dad!
-carlo
June 7th, 2010 - 14:21
Uhm, thanks for calling me creepy?!? :p
You know Carlo, some people have to leave an entirely different life behind and can never experience it again, ever. They may be too young to remember it and in the panic of having that happen again, they end up documenting their life steadily. I didn’t chose to leave Cuba. I couldn’t explain it to you if I tried, how much you can’t forget that some day a decision may be made about your life unexpectedly of which you have no control and all you have to show for that is a few pictures. What you call creepy, I call life’s harsh lessons on survival.
What makes people happy and how people enjoy their lives is completely relative. People who like photography live for those moments in which they may capture and later provide a loved one with a great souvenir from their happiest and unknowingly life altering moment. Taking the pictures puts you more in the moment than you think.
Don’t get me wrong, I know your essay was not in any way directed at me but I have a feeling all the pictures I posted on facebook might have had something to do with your reflections. Sadly, when I read things like what you wrote, I can’t help but think those who think the way you do, have not had to lose a defining part of their lives. That’s great for you but not so kind on the ones being compared to losers basically. Don’t worry, I am just sharing my thoughts as you did but I don’t hate you, not upset, just reliving not being able to ever go back to my country.
June 7th, 2010 - 14:22
Hi Claudia
Thank you very much for your response! It is interesting to see what emotions my posting had elicited..! And I know you’re not upset or mad at me or anything, but I do regret that my posting evoked emotions in you that I had not intended.
The purpose of my initial posting was to discuss how we are all constantly in transitional periods in our lives, and not that just changing a job or seeking employment is the only change that occurs. I felt that people our age seem to believe that we are the only people in transition from one life to another, but the fact of the matter is, we as humans have always been changing since we were very young, and will be when we get very old.
From that thought, I did take a bit of a leap over to focusing primarily on pictures and memorabilia. Granted, I did end up talking about that more than I had originally intended, but I suppose I touched on a few topics that had underlying meaning. I suppose I was trying to elicit the thought in people of what they define as the experience? Is it the ability to see pictures and relive the moments through them? Or is just knowing that they were there, then, enough to satiate the sensation of memory?
It was actually your pictures on facebook that really made me think about those few questions. And I am actually eternally grateful that you WERE so diligent about taking pictures in college. In fact, you were probably my only friend that did take pictures, and I feel that is nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is it shameful that you do take pictures to chronologically document your life. It was in seeing your pictures that reminded me, it IS very important for us to take pictures because ultimately that IS how we relive those moments. In our constantly transitioning lives, it is easy to forget how things were, who we knew, or what we had done with our lives to get us to the places we are today.
I am actually remorseful that I do not have more pictures from vet school, there are only a few, and I am happy that you had more!
I fully and wholeheartedly endorse that you are such a photographer. And I certainly know there is a very long story to your life that brought you to where you are today, although, granted, I do not know every detail. I respect that you maintain such diligence in your life documentary, and think nothing but the best of you. If my letter made you feel like a loser, then its purpose had failed.
As I had noted in my posting, I think that it is not only important for us to document our lives, take photos, and create videos.. But it is also very important for us to share our stories, because that is how we can relive those times and share our lives. That is why I think the multiple photo websites and social networking sties (ie. Facebook), are such a unique and useful tool to our time. Never in history has there been access to technology, nor the ability for us to share those memories with hundreds of people with just a single CLICK. It is through sharing our memories that we truly substantiate our lives. Believe me, if I did not believe that, do you think I would have dedicated a website to the sole purpose of documenting our family’s life?
Thank you again Claudia for your response, I think you’re a wonderful woman and I am glad to have you as a part of my life
-carlo
June 14th, 2010 - 22:44
Carlo!
So sorry. Last week was absolutely insane after all and I never had a chance to let you know that I really appreciate how big your heart is and how you took the time to make it all better. It means a lot to me after realizing how you interpreted my response that you would fully explain yourself to avoid a scar in our friendship
You are one of the most brilliant people I have met, not only while in school but by everything I see you accomplish on a daily basis. I wouldn’t have read your blog if I didn’t expect it to be just as brilliant and have some depth of thought. I may have made it sound worse than I felt however. The word creepy just made me realize I have a completely different angle on life than many others that haven’t gone through similar life changes. I really meant it when I said I wasn’t upset about it. I was only hoping if you continue to give this some thought, that this new information may give you a different perspective. You didn’t make me feel like a looser, but it just sounded like that was the direction you were taking as I read it.
I hate that e-mail is open for a lot of emotional misinterpretation and I didn’t have enough time to convey my thoughts differently. Please, don’t read into my replies that way in the future unless you see bold text, series of exclamation points or underlining…maybe even some cursing in spanish lol. At the end of the day, I did just want to share my insight with you just as you did with me.
Love ya Carlo!
Claudia
June 17th, 2010 - 01:01
Hi Claudia
I too must apologize for the late reply, things have been quite crazy as well!
I definitely should thank you for your praise, I suppose I’m not exactly sure what keeps me driven in so many different directions and makes me have my hand in so many different cookie jars. Certainly the term, “Jack of All Trades” comes to mind, but I’m not sure if that term overestimates…?!
Have no fear, I did not take offense to your comments and thoughts. Your response is exactly what I have been trying to do with rioloRAMA. I want the website/forum/blog to just be an open atmosphere where my friends and family can feel free to reply and respond to any and all of our thoughts and stories. The website is meant to be enjoyed, shared, and pondered. Within the website, I’ve tried to include everything from photos, to videos, to my random rants & raves, just to stimulate my audience. So I couldn’t have been more happy when you replied to my posting, because it definitely served its intended purpose – It made me and the other readers think of a topic in a different light and perspective.
So by all means, in the future, feel free to comment on anything and everything!
Hope all is well, we’ll be in touch!
-carlo