Seasons are changing..
Hard to believe it's already summer...
I'm sitting here listening to Neil Young's live concert entitled "Heart of Gold" which was taped in 2006 at the landmark Ryman Auditorium, in Nashville, Tennessee. It is an amazing set which debuts his (new at the time) album, "Prairie Wind," among other classics. I only bring this up because it is a very melancholy set which easily fills the air with a heartwarming story from easily one of the most enduring artists of this era. So far, to date, it is one of his last recorded shows and it was recorded shortly after he had a brain aneurism surgically corrected, and the death of his father. The music and stories have a sense of reflection, but also a look to the future for new experiences and adventures. In listening to this record, one can easily get lost in the experience and envision themselves in the shoes of a great artist and songwriter.
Only now that I am a bit older am I beginning to realize that as human beings, we are constantly at the proverbial crossroad of life. We are constantly altering our physical environment; adding to or subtracting from our nuclear group of friends; creating or settling feuds between family members; changing, starting or ending careers; or the most intimidating of all life's choices, having children. I am slowly beginning to realize that eventually everything changes, neither for the good nor the bad, it's just constantly changing. Granted, that sounds extraordinarily cliche, but sometimes there is truth in old words.
It wasn't until I started to cruise through old pictures and albums did I really realize the people and experiences I've had throughout my life. And the funny thing is, I will probably only see many of them with my own eyes a handful of times for the remainder of my life. People that once had such an impact on my life, are just sorta, not there anymore. Again that's fine, because there are no guarantees that I would even get along with who they have become, nor would I necessarily act how they once knew me.
Currently I have over 6000 pictures in my photo album, which seems a bit intimidating to even think about... Some probably have more, others probably have less, but its probably safe to assume that my index finger has gotten quite tired of the repetitive torture. By reminiscing over pictures and a time long past, only then do I realize that pictures only grasp mere moments during the events of our lifetime. They are literally a snapshot in time (yes, pun intended.)
Although... Somehow.. I think that's the point. I think pictures are only meant to remind us of memories past or forgotten. But I suppose I feel that the utility of memorabilia and pictures are meant to supplement memories, not replace them... For a number of years in college, I had gotten into the habit of just clicking away at everything on the other side of my camera lens. Now.. don't get me wrong.. There are some hilarious moments captured on film... But the purpose of our experiences are to live in and enjoy that moment, not constantly reflect upon them in the future. I think that in many circumstances we get too caught up in capturing every moment on film, or every event on tape, and actually miss out on the experience of life.
Why is it that there is rarely a perfect balance between the inadequate and the excessive? I can only assume during the college years I was certainly acting in excess. But once college had ended, I had rebounded in the other direction and completely stopped taking pictures at all. In fact, by the time I graduated college I was so sick of the damn "camera pose" I couldn't hardly stand it. But now.. years later, should I be sad to think that I should have taken more pictures to captivate more moments? Or should I take solace in the fact that by not taking pictures, I wholeheartedly lived in that moment for very memorable road trips and events of my young adult life?
For anyone that has exposure to historical archives, or have grand parents with old shoe boxes, you can really begin to appreciate how little archival footage there are of human beings in comparison to recent years. After the camera was invented, many people of the era had one picture; either of them, their kids, or the whole family... just ONE picture. But not these days, there are scrapbooks, and electronic albums, SIM cards, multiple online photo websites, and a variety of social networking websites to store and share your pictures and experiences with any passerby. Hell, we've even invented electronic picture frames which can hold up to and cycle through HUNDREDS of photographs in a number of hours. What ever happened to one picture in one frame? Is the old "analogue" photographic technology obsolete?
At no time in history have we ever had as much technology as we have today, nor have we had the sheer volume of memorabilia. The next question is, who are we REALLY going to share these memories with, or who are we saving them for? Are we all going to have biographical novels? Is there going to be someone, someday that thinks we are worthy of a memoir? If many of these memories are collecting dust in an old hard drive, or even an old shoebox, are they really doing anyone any good? Have we as a culture gotten more satisfaction out of knowing that we have captured the moment in physical form, rather than actually gaining the satisfaction of living that moment?
Think about the panic people endure when their hard drive crashes and they lose hundreds of children's photos. Think about the terror when the photo negatives are lost... Where does this come from? Do we really think that by losing this physical piece of history, we are in a sense losing the memory? Or is this the case-in-point that we truly cherish the physical memorabilia over the satisfaction from experiencing or living through a particular event?
I think what will be most fascinating is what happens in 200 years. Not in the morbid sense, but more in reference to the development of our future culture and nuclear family with the knowledge and collection of our familial history. What if we had pictures of our families traveling across on the boat? Would we think of them the same way? Will our lineage look back and be able to tell their children and their grand children of people long past, and then pull out a 6000 photo gallery of that person to tell the story? I mean to say, we certainly do not have that luxury with our ancestors, and our nuclear family has revered these people as once great beings. After all, in many circumstances, all we have is a check-in sheet from Ellis Island.. or maybe not even that.. Maybe many of us don't know where we came from, aside from knowing our family members were farmers or tailors or butchers. What if in the future, our culture realizes we have lived in excess and stops archiving pictures and whole lives? Is there really anything lost?
So I wonder what people will think of us, and our culture, in hundreds of years when there is a plethora of archival footage and photographs to show how we lived. Most of us only hear about our ancestors through word of mouth from other family members, and then that ONE picture is referenced, or perhaps a piece of war-torn memorabilia. For many of us, our ancestors are held on a high pedestal of how hard their lives were, and what they had to live through and endure. What if they had a few hundred photos a year to show that Great Grandpa just hung out on the couch all day in his underwear? What happens if our lineage looks at our collections of memorabilia they say, "God, this guy really looked like a dick." Or worse yet, what if he really was?!
Ultimately I feel that photographs and videos are meant for ourselves, the ones we love and those we care about. They're a way for us to tell a story about our lives to those that we care about, who can't be present when we live them. Or maybe just a way of reliving the moments when we are together with those we shared the experience. With many of us having pictures from childhood, it is also a way to see how we grew up throughout the years and share that with people that weren't there.
With that said, it is also very important that we all pay attention to ensure that we are not capturing these physical memories in excess... If you're constantly looking through the camera's shutter, you're not really taking part in the experience, but you're just some creepy guy or gal with a photo fetish. On the other hand, having no recollection of the experience does not pay tribute to an accomplishment or experience, regardless of it being either large or small.
So at this point, you must be wondering why I have entitled this blog entry with "Seasons are changing..." Basically what I'm driving at is throughout our entire lives, things will always change. Sometimes they change in ways that we intend, and other times they change without our control. Regardless, we can't forget to live in the moment and enjoy what we have and who we are sharing it with. If they're is no one right now in your lives, no problem, you're the most reliable person for yourself anyway.
What I learned this year was plant a garden. You'll always be satisfied with what you've made, and gain great satisfaction when everything starts to bloom and come alive. It is one of those small victories we all need in our lives to remember that we can do something right. Even if you're in an apartment with limited space, get a potted plant that blooms. Or if you're in an office, get something to brighten up your space.
In the future I'll continue to send pictures along of my life and what my family is doing. Just know that I am intending to include you in reliving those experiences, and hope that you get a laugh at our expense!
Thank you for taking the time to read this entry, it had been quite some time since my last posting.
-Carlo
